Tom and Crazy Time




A friend with whom I worked on the YouthQuake Planning Committee, Tom Fox, was found dead a couple of days ago, apparently killed by his kidnappers in Iraq. Tom was willing to enter Crazy Time…and he stayed there as long as he could. While he was working in Iraq, I consistently followed his email updates and prayed for him on a consistent basis. His emails were fascinating and inspiring and filled with courage and love for those who were suffering around him. Just before he was taken captive, I had invited other friends to begin receiving Tom’s updates.

All of this can make me feel real good. Wow, I knew Tom Fox, now a martyr for peace. I interacted with him and encouraged others to listen to his voice for peace. But in actuality, Tom scared me down to the very core of who I am. I was both strongly attracted to him and yet wanted to maintain a safe distance. In some ways, I wonder if my prayers for Tom allowed me to live through him vicariously, feeling like I was involved at the heart of the kingdom’s work for peace and justice, without really being at the heart of it, without being in harms way.

I’m not supposed to be Tom Fox. I’m called to be Paul Bock. I’m called to be faithful to God’s call on my life, and I guess that’s what I’m hoping I’ll do, in the same way Tom was faithful to God’s call on his life. If that’s suppose to mean I do youth ministry in Newberg, Oregon for years to come, I hope I will do that faithfully, but with a willingness to allow crazy time to enter into that space. If it means that God is going to call me out of this place that seems so safe and normal to me right now, then I pray for the grace to be faithful to that.

God, thanks for Tom and his example of willingness to enter into crazy time…no matter what.